little by little i feel a bit better

[soloremix]

[neku's always had a sneaking suspicion that joshua never exactly had a chance to grow up normally, what with the implications of becoming composer as a teenager and all. and as much as the two would hate to admit it, neku's run in the reapers' game had changed both of them—where joshua had bet everything on neku being completely incapable of opening his world, neku had exceeded expectations. his proxy did not deliver on the intended goal, but that just made things all the more interesting.

hanekoma hadn't been too happy about joshua's proposal to be given the chance to roam shibuya in the rg whenever he wasn't immediately needed as composer. he, too, had developed a bit of a soft spot for neku, though (being an accomplice in the attempt to kill them during the second week not withstanding)... he could see why joshua would want to learn more about him.

apparently, though, this condition had come with one stipulation—one a rather skeptical neku doesn't seem to be too pleased about.]

Let me get this straight—of all the people to ask, you choose me to be your tutor on "being a normal teenager?"

Comments

[soloremix]

[and neku knows—or at least has a good idea of—why joshua avoids the question. what is it... pride, weakness, or something else entirely that prevents him from acknowledging their friendship? it annoys neku a little, given the lessons he's learned over the course of the past few weeks.]

I asked you, not the other way around, smartass.

[vipmix]

[he kinda misses when neku had easier buttons to push, but joshua perfected the art of not sharing before he ever became composer, so he just pushes his hair back with a hum]

Just checking~ [again with the very careful sleeve pulling of the hoodie, like he's not affected] What was it... "bored of being God", right? Kind of a gross misunderstanding of what I am, but I'll let it go for now. I'm not stepping down as Composer. That's not even an option... unless you plan on dying again, then I'll gladly give you the gun so you can give it a shot. [him trying to annoy neku into switching subjects is a bit obvious, so he goes on before neku can call him out] Either I get Erased or I ... well, get promoted, so to speak.

[he's hoping giving neku unrelated info is enough of a distraction tbh]

[soloremix]

[PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT GUNS]

You still haven't answered the question. If you're still going to be Composer, then why spend your time in the RG? Doesn't that make you more vulnerable for any assassination attempts, like what happened when I got stuck in your crossfire with Pi-face?

[he can't help but let a little bit of bitterness seep into his tone.]

1/2

[vipmix]

Even like this, I'm more powerful than any Reaper who'd attempt it. Besides, they...

[... he loses a bit of momentum there, looking away with a sigh]

Sho was a fluke. No one outside of Mr. H knows my RG identity, which is why I assume he accepted this. [as some kind of atonement, maybe, but Josh doesn't actually want to linger on that-- Neku doesn't need to know that part. joshua himself kind of wishes he didn't know that part.] But, yes, in a sense, you're right. Technically, as Composer, I'm not meant to linger in the RG.

[...well, if josh can't get away from telling neku the truth--]

[vipmix]

[he smirks]

I'm here because I had fun, that week we were partners. I thought this might be too.

[--pretend like the truth doesn't matter]

[soloremix]

[see, neku was going to press joshua further about sho, to ask what he means by that, but it's what the other boy says after that pause that stops his train of thought. that means, in plainer words—]

...You're doing all this because of me.

[...despite the obvious look of confusion on his face, he says it not as a question, but as a statement, as if he's come to a realization he should have had when josh had shown up in the first place.]

[vipmix]

[there's a bit of a pause with josh too, just as wide-eyed... but then joshua just-- laughs]

A bit slow on the uptake, aren't you?

[he doesn't really see the point in denying it, and. also. this will probably just make neku freak out more, which is a win for josh, so:]

I wouldn't have brought you back to life if I didn't like you, Neku.

1/2

[soloremix]

[ for a second, neku is flustered when joshua confirms his suspicions, because since when does joshua agree seemingly that easily? he's also correctly predicted neku's reaction; his voice raises and he frowns deeply, almost coming off on the aggressive side. ]

You could've just said that from the beginning, dammit!

[soloremix]

[ ... then, he calms. ]

(...but I guess that's not your style.)

[ he sighs, but at least that was the extent of his yelling. he quickly defaults back to his usual sarcasm, because if josh can go back to normal after a momentary show of weakness, so can he. ]

I feel so special right now.

[vipmix]

[neku flinched first joshua still won*

*no he does not realize that you don't win at feelings]

You should. It's not every day I decide I like someone. [yes. this is so much better if he says it like he is bestowing friendship. perfect. why is he this way. then he gives an exaggerated sigh] Though I didn't think I'd need to spell it out for you. When have you known me to do anything I don't want to?

[soloremix]

[plot twist: everyone loses at feelings for even having them at all

all neku does in response to this is stare intently at josh for a few moments, hesitate...

then pull the eared hood of josh's sweater over his face.]

[vipmix]

["hey joshua where's your mild clairvoyance" not there for this shit, so there's a sound that's a definite yelp coming from the depths of bunny hood town before josh realizes that's all neku intends to do and he crosses his arm to stare at him with a sulk.

also considering his hair's in his face under the best circumstances being flattened on purpose by the hood just means it looks absolutely ridiculous and all over. please imagine josh with an emo curl because it gives me joy]

What was that, Neku.

[>:c]

[soloremix]

[very matter-of-factly:]

It shut you up and made me feel better. Two birds, one stone.

[like, by all means, he is laughing his ass off in his head, but he's making a show of staying straight-faced to one-up josh.]

[vipmix]

[. . . . . .

>:C!!!]

You can't keep asking questions and then objecting when I answer.

[he takes the hood back off and removes the hair from his face with distinct sulkitude that he will never admit to. ... then he pauses and makes a show of thinking]

Or is it that you're uncomfortable with me saying I like you, Neku?

[emphasizes like so it sounds Wrong]

[soloremix]

[he doesn't flinch this time, but he does feel something of a chill go up his spine. it's true that he's cool with being friends with joshua, ultimately, but why's he gotta say it like that??

he maintains his deadpan attitude as he answers,]

Uh, you're the one who killed me twice? I should at least get to have this much. Me messing up your pretty boy hair is nothing in comparison.

[vipmix]

[neku no never mention the shooting because that gives josh one advantage: being totally ok with death and dying and guns]

I wouldn't have had to kill you the second time if you'd shot me, you know. [nice victim blaming, josh.]

[soloremix]

You're really preoccupied with that, aren't you.

[why...is he like this...]

[vipmix]

You're really preoccupied with me shooting you, so I think it's only fair.

[it's not. quite. the same. and he's very aware of it. but does he care? no.]

[soloremix]

I'm not—you literally keep bringing it up.

[josh?????]

[vipmix]

And yet you make the same face every single time.

[:)?]

[soloremix]

Because we're still talking about guns and killing each other.

[vipmix]

Is that not a "normal teenager" thing?

[he knows it isn't. he's just an asshole.]

[soloremix]

No. It's not. Dude.

(It's more killing yourself than killing each other... hell if I'm gonna actually say that, though.)

[vipmix]

[mock sighs]

Well, there goes my life experience.

[why is he like this]

[soloremix]

[ took the words right out of his mouth ]

Why are you like this? No wonder Mr. H thought you needed help.