( cmo ) general rp

[hopes]

play with me! ☆

my character list is here, while my (outdated) rp wishlist is here! go crazy with whatever you wanna throw at me; leave the character you want to thread with in the subject, and i'm cool doing or replying to starters!

body heat / fluff / insomnia / rain / realistic college au / reunion / soulmates / stargazing

Comments

[feigned]

[where the old Vanille would have been struck vulnerable by Fang's latest rebuttal, the one currently spurred on by her inhuman rage remains fierce, almost offended herself.]

Haven't you gotten it through your thick skull that I've been doing everything in my power to keep you safe? While you just keep going out on your own, thinking you could take down the gods the same way we took down the fal'Cie? It's not the same here, and seeing your corpse was proof!

[her wings flare up again, with a single, powerful flap, and she suddenly closes the distance between them and digs her claws into Fang's shoulder. they don't quite pierce her partner's skin, but the red marks they leave regardless will probably be visible for a couple of days. intense heat radiates off her skin and scales, her teeth viciously bared as she hisses,]

Do you realize how hard it was for me to leave you alone when you first came here? How damn difficult it was to deal with these feelings of... of wanting to protect you from how terrible this place is while wanting to crush your skull and eat you in the same second? I wanted to kill you, Fang, what do you think that's done to me?!

[belligerentwarrior]

[Fang's hand flashes out behind her to brace against the wall; it's the only thing that keeps her sitting upright in face of Vanille's charge. She can feel the gouges forming in her scales under the other gargoyle's claws, threatening to split. Her tail lashes once over the bed indignantly; Fang's too worked up to be conscious of the alien swell of wounded pride, and she sits straighter, despite Vanille looming over her with claws hooked in her scales.]

So, what, you want me to roll over and accept it? What the gods did to all of us—what they did to you? You want me to settle for this? Never feeling the sun again and watchin' you tear yourself apart every time you've got to go eat?

Like hell. Because guess what? We're all disgusted with ourselves—the things we've enjoyed and the wants we've got. [She glares up into her partner's now-golden eyes, unflinchingly—defiantly. There's a beat before her lips curl into a scowl, just a sliver of teeth bared, and one last thing boils out of her throat.] You and your little martyr act've got no right to lecture me about keepin' me safe.

[There's forgiveness in death. Let's die for Cocoon and let the cycle perpetuate. I'll sacrifice myself to soothe the damned. No, Vanille had no right to complain about Fang's recklessness, not when her own guilt was the greatest danger to her.]

[feigned]

[if fang hadn't made that last comment, maybe there wouldn't be burning bile scorching vanille's throat, causing a hiss to escape. it's not that the statement is false—no, it's definitely the truth that vanille hates facing—it's the scornful tone fang uses that gets a rise out of her. another wave of heat rolls off the younger pulsian's skin, fueled by her anger; if the two of them weren't gargoyles, they might have passed out.

grinding her sharpened fangs, her claws dig deeper under her partner's scales, now actively seeking blood.]

Is that what you think of me? Do you think I like making the sacrifices I've made—that I keep making?

[even in addressing her own self-awareness, she fails to get at the meat of what fang is pointing out, that she's unintentionally making it about her.]

[belligerentwarrior]

[If the two of them weren't gargoyles, there might not have even been an argument. They've lived in close proximity long enough to know when to talk about things and what to ignore to keep the peace between them, but this new, tender pride of theirs wasn't something they knew how to dance about yet.]

[Fang isn't well enough to not flinch, her blood hissing and bubbling out from under Vanille's claws like hot water under pressure. A deep, bestial growl rumbles out of her chest as she looks back up at her partner, wings flexing and tail lashing once more.] You know damn well that isn't it!

[The taller gargoyle starts to move and say something else before she flinches again at the claws curled into her flesh. She growls again and grabs at Vanille's left wrist with her free hand in an attempt to yank her claws free.] Enough of that.

[feigned]

[at fang's touch, vanille lets go, but doesn't bother taking care to avoid grazing fang's arm with a final rake of her claws. the resulting swelling of her partner's flesh does not faze her, like it would had tensions not been so high. in fact, something unfamiliar swells in her chest as she gazes upon the ugly red marks among the scales, knowing that she is the one who caused them.

oerba dia vanille has never known pride like this before.

inside her mind, what remains of her humanity comes to blows with the vicious and prideful personality she's begun to develop. on one side, she wants to throw herself at fang's feet in repentance, the reaction she is most used to (even though that may infuriate fang further); on the other, she wants to walk away with her face twisted in a mix of smugness and disgust (which may be just as incendiary as the former).

... she opts to just remain where she is, her eyes lingering on fang's before she turns her head away.]

I can't believe you, Fang.

aaaand then whiplash

[belligerentwarrior]

[She bites back a hiss at the burning lines along her forearm, but the blood boiling and sputtering out of the wounds do that for her. Those five words hurt more than her partner's claws, and she couldn't even say why—it wasn't even close to the most harmful thing said in this exchange. That kind of disappointed scorn picked at her regrets, reminded her how ashamed she's been about her recent behavior, and she couldn't stop herself from feeling indignant in response. Fang initially resists the urge to stand up, to tower over Vanille, to accuse her of doing this on purpose—then yields to it, surging to her feet.]

[Which proved to be a bit of a mistake, standing up too quickly in her condition. Spots swarm her vision and Fang's balance jerks to the side, but she manages to remain on her feet and quickly draws up to her full height. That swirling nausea in her gut steals the edge from her anger, even if it adds to her frustrations.]

What, then? Go on, spit it out. You've clearly got all the answers. What do you want to do, Vanille?

[feigned]

[the provoked anger in fang's reaction does nothing to quell vanille's own. in fact, it may perhaps ignite it further. vanille beats her wings again, forcefully whipping up a gust of air in the small apartment even in spite of fang's unsteadiness.]

What I want? What I want is for the both of us to stay alive, you idiot! [spittle forms at the corners of her mouth, her fangs bared.] Did something about dying mess you up in the head, make you forget about the important things?

[this bile, this resentment does not feel like her own voice talking. in the back of her mind, it's as if something has taken control of her body, speaking these words that she would never say with her mouth. but at the same time... are these feelings she's actually been having, when she's just been too weak or scared to voice them before?

she honestly cannot tell the difference anymore, but whatever the case, she stands her ground opposite of her partner.]

[belligerentwarrior]

[Fang can't help flinching as the weight of her shame and regret are brought down on her head again, and she knows that flinch was a mistake. It gave Vanille more ground in this argument, let her know Fang knew she had a point. She bares her teeth in a defensive snarl before she could stop herself, too emotional to temper her reactions right now.]

[And then it sinks in.]

[What I want is for the both of us to stay alive, you idiot!]

[Her chest starts rising and falling quickly as her breathing becomes rapid, a new kind of anger bubbling up within her—something scared and frustrated and betrayed and desperate, and flames curl unintentionally on every breath.]

[Fang couldn't take it anymore. That wound is too raw.]

[She breaks.]

You have no RIGHT to say that! [The taller woman roughly shoves Vanille back as she screams those words. Her balance wavers and threatens to buckle, but Fang presses on and forward, that agonized desperation clear in her face.]

What happened to all those noble sacrifices YOU wanted to make, huh?! [A step forward, another shove.] What about turnin' Cie'th to protect poor Cocoon?! What about dying to atone for your sins?! What about doin' everything to you could to apologize to the dead—[It's here that Fang's voice breaks into something ugly and rough and tormented]—no matter how it left me behind?!

[She'd be on the verge of tears if her gargoyle body wouldn't immediately burn them away.]

[feigned]

[fang's push surprises vanille, causing her to stumble back into the wall. she hisses when her body makes impact against the concrete, and downright snarls as she regains her footing.

the confusion caused by accusations of events vanille has yet to experience for herself angers her even more. yes, they have established that their timelines are slightly askew... but they've never really resolved what that meant for either of them. the tension in the room right now really doesn't help to quell things.

it's probably a good thing that they had moved from vanille's old wooden shack after fang had turned, because it definitely wouldn't have survived with two fired up—literally—gargoyles. she surges forward, propelled by her wings, then sinks her claws into fang's shoulder... right above her old brand. there is literal fire in vanille's eyes as she almost roars,]

I haven't made those decisions yet! Have you forgotten that the world's moved on without me while I've been stuck in this living hell?!

[her grip on fang's shoulder tightens.]

Besides... besides, we were responsible for all those deaths, and we're still responsible for them now! If this really is how I reacted in the future, why didn't you stay by my side?!